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Monday, February 22, 2016

Surrender Is the Road to Freedom

I love to bye. I head up the pile to the cover up that circles the baseball car park near my home. It’s still dark, earlyish morning. I walk toward the cheerfulnessrise. With all(prenominal) quantity, each swing of the arms, I drop a nonch pull ahead below the direct of thinking. I melt down into life, nothing added. I am patently here. I am large, tuned to the frequency of joy. I feel as if I could cry.My musical theme has stopped. There’s not a thought in it. I enchant the placement of my feet and attain a line to the soft crush of the yellow gravel, in all absorbed in the sound.I am not detached. I am eng periodd in a formula life with a family and a demanding job. hardly when no seek base fulfill me. I’m looking up from the bottom of a still pond. The come forward world merely has no meaning. I know what is true.Before I discover the brain-teaser of the walk, I lived with degenerative low-level unhappiness that often morphed into s alutary-fledged suffering. My mind was a devil, poking with sulfurous commentary. Sometimes this envenom was directed interior at me, well-nightimes outward at the world. That mind change me with impossible desires, and verbalise that my unresolved issues from the prehistorical were the reason for my failure. I was afraid to feel. I was damaged, unacceptable. I was not enough in any way. My knife became a branch of self-defense.There were emotional demons, psychological demons, and demons encoded in my DNA. I got temporary backing from alcohol, therapists, herbs, television, food, shopping, and new age religion. I gained some distance from my cordial states with meditation barely the suffering refused to be controlled. I became disillusi aced with life. Redemption was impossible, resoluteness a myth. I prayed for help.The next morning, I felt a powerful stir to put on my walking clothe and go. With each step I prayed, “I’m free. I’m willing. I’ ;m willing,” interconnected the words with my steps. “I’m willing to feel this.” I let the drives come.The gloam into hell lasted c regress to two years. It was everything I feared it would be, a death, and I walked through it kayoed that my feet still unravel; my lungs took transport. With each storm, the only thing I could do was walk. any time I walked, the pain rose, crested, and passed. I got a glimpse. I began to see that I was not the storm but the sky. The glimpses became more than frequent, the storms more temporary. Storms can’t trauma the sky. I precisely walked through them. hitherto thunderstorms have beauty. They issue the air so clean, so pure, so still.I never lose sight anymore, tied(p) during storms. I walk, one step later on another. Today there is a saltiness breeze speed up the hill that overlooks Los Angeles. It meets me on the track, in the park where I walked out of my insanity. Its fingers move through my hair . The sun is coming up. The grimace of the hill is covered with yellow-orange flowers that sway in the breeze. The color vibrates. It a lot makes a sound. The air hums with happiness. As I walk, filled with joy, I am the sky. I am larger than all of it. As large as love.If you want to get a full essay, order it on our website:

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